IT HURTS

to see papa hurting like this , its all because of the damn green fucking pasu . if not , papa would be allright . i know now that mummy is being so patient with all the consequences . like all , the car , in workshop , it costs about 2,500 ringgit , the maid's passport rm3,680 . and the hospital's bill . like wtf ? if i can help , i'll help , but i cant . its too much pressure now . with my PMR in another few more weeks . wtf ?! i cant even pay attention thinking about my parents . papa , who is in pain now ! mummy , pain with the money to be paid . goshh , i wish i could take over mummy's place and reduce her problems . i cant see her in this way . i just have to act like im normal in front of people , im not the type of person who wants to share problems with people . i can say that because thats me . goshhhhh , with my school , i have not been in school for a few days now , because of all ths . even im so scared that in the end , my friends would be so mad at me for this . cmon , its ramadhan , i have to be patient . seriously , i miss schol already but its just so hard right now . i just hope that they will understand my pressure . like seriously . i miss my friends , especially ekin & darina , my classmates , acap , alip , nadia , johari , jalut , izzat , v , syan , nurul , ezza & more . im so sorry okay ? please be understanding . ekin , im sorry i lied to you about darina's blog . i didnt mean it . but i swore thats the only thing im hiding from you . please , im sorry and i mean it . ampun ?

bukak puasa with papa , mummy & abang in the hospital ward number 319 , old wing . domino's pizza . beef paperronni pizza and some cheese bread with cincau . then , tante came and visited papa . before going home , i went to domino's again to accompony tante to buy her sahur's food and i get myself a teh o' ais & candy fries . its good . and tonite is nabil rasul's shief to take care of papa .

fyi , im so worried about my studies right now . its not balanced at all . i have to look foward of studying like seriously madly . i dont wanna humilated my mum7dad's face . i need strenght . ya allah , kuatkanlah semangat ku dan bekalkanlah aku dgn ilmu yg mencukupi . amin ya rabbal alamin . <33