Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha btw . people and relatives came to my house and celebrate . tante linda , tante zee , ohm fai , deera , syasya , acap , and some of them just dont elong to my family . the best part , tante bought me a cake from secret recipe and i blow my 15teen cake . its great to be celebrated . thanks everybody . but i feel like this year is my worst birthday ever . seriously . yeayea ,

gerak to Penang around 1.30pm and arrived around 6pm , pfft , my butt hurts . ahaha . first , we checked in at vistana hotel . cam sial je hotel uhh . i hate that . urghh, then the next day , its 28th and its my birthday . ahah . and we checked out at noon and checked in at Gurney Hotel . awesomeeeeeeee . its a 5* . no wonder its great . the pool , the view , the beach , the room , its perfect . ohh my Lord , thanks for this .

goshh , im actlly not in the mood of typing ohh but i just want to update this shitt , haha . bye viewers !
*i had a tragic birthday
Happy birthday my best friend,

Amazing times, we always spend.

Laughter and jokes are common place,

Since we built that solid base.

Special friend that I hold dear,

Always wish to have you near.

We get along, like bread with honey,

A friendship worth, much more than money.

If you stumble, count me there,

Gratitude; no need to declare.

Your thoughts are clear, in my mind,

Understanding we always find.

Happy birthday my best friend,

I’m excited to attend.

This birthday poem, is just for you,

A great big smile is overdue.

* from ekin . thanks , iloveyouu
im so pissed at syahmi rite now . he was like comfirm about the party then at the same day , he called and canceled it . huhh , its okay . and im waiting for something unexpected from mummy for my birthday . i wish , if i didnt get anything , i'll be burst out in tears . for god's sakes , my birthday will be celebrated in Penang . i guess , and i just cant wait for December , because Camry is coming . HAHAHA , :) im bored

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
- open
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
- out
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
- no
5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
- not really
6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
- yes
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
- swarm of bees
8. Do you have freckles?
- no
9. Do you always smile for pictures?
- yes
10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
- cnt recall
11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
- yes
12. Have you ever peed in the woods?
- no !
13. What about pooped in the woods?
- never
14. Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
- yes , haha
15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
- yes
16. How many people have you slept with this week?
- 3
17. What size is your bed?
- queen
18. What is your Song of the week?
- evacuate the dancefloor - cascada
19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
- yes , confidence
20. Do you still watch cartoons?
- no
21. Whats your least favorite movie?
- malay movies
22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
- in my closet is enough
23. What do you drink with dinner?
- plain water
24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
- ketchup
25. What is your favorite food?
- Japanese
26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
- a walk to remember & twilight
27. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
- cant recall
28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
- both , haha
29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
- never , i have religion
30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
- huhh , long time ago
31. Can you change the oil on a car?
- yes
32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
- no
33. Ran out of gas?
- yes
34. Favorite kind of sandwich?
- tuna
35 Best thing to eat for breakfast?
- bread ?
36. What is your usual bedtime?
- 10.00pm
37. Are you lazy?
- yes i am !
38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
- i dont celebrate
39. What is your Chinese astrological sign?
- cant recall
40. How many languages can you speak?
- 2
41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
- no
42..Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
- legos
43. Are you stubborn?
- sometimes
44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
- letterman , HAHA
45. Ever watch soap operas?
- yes
46. Afraid of heights?
- not really
47. Sing in the car?
- vvip
48. Dance in the shower?
- yes
49. Dance in the car?
- no
50. Ever used a gun?
- no
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
- cant recall
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
- nehh , not really
53. Is Christmas stressful?
- i dont celebrate
54. Ever eat a pierogi?
- no
55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
- apple
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
- doctor , duhhh
57. Do you believe in ghosts?
- yes but no
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
- yes of course
59. Take a vitamin daily?
- no
60. Wear slippers?
- yes
61. Wear a bath robe?
in hotel
62. What do you wear to bed?
- clothes
63. First concert?
- star concert
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
- wal-mart
65. Nike or Adidas?
- nike
66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
- cheets
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
- peanuts
68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
- no
69. Ever take dance lessons?
- no
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
- no
71. Can you curl your tongue?
- no
72. Ever won a spelling bee?
- yes
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
- no
74. Own any record albums?
- no
75. Own a record player?
- yes
76. Regularly burn incense?
- yea
77. Ever been in love?
- not really
78. Who would you like to see in concert?
79. What was the last concert you saw?
80.Hot tea or cold tea?
- hot
81.Tea or coffee?
82. Sugar or snickerdoodles?
83.Can you swim well?
- not really
84.Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
- 5 seconds
85. Are you patient?
- yes , very very
86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
- band for weds
87.Ever won a contest?
- yes
88. Ever have plastic surgery?
- no
89. Which are better black or green olives?
- black
90.Can you knit or crochet?
- both cant
91. Best room for a fireplace?
- none
92. Do you want to get married?
- yes i do
93. If married, how long have you been married?
- forever
94. Who was your HS crush?
- HAHA !
95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
- no
96. Do you have kids?
- not yet
97. Do you want kids?
- yes i do
98. Whats your favorite color?
- lotsa
99. Do you miss anyone right now?
- yes
100. Did you watch, Next Great American Band on FOX?
- no , but i watch Khloe&Kourtney take Miami on E
good luck to all students of SPM .

  • jeme
  • jijoy
  • fitri
  • dan
  • nathan
  • sheh
  • mal
  • dollah
  • zubey
  • arip
  • farah
  • fida
  • noura
  • izzat
  • nasuha
  • jue

this guy on this picture is Henry G . this is the guy i've been crazy about . he's hot . thats all .

hooyahh , last night i slept at 4.30am . why ? because i cant stop thinking . i cant sleep at all ! then i started to open up my phone . i go through all the pictures so i can sleep but no i cant get it out of my head . i opened a text new message and wrote;

this world is so unfair to her . im not blaming you my god but why do you have to put her through this hard tests? its painful . put her to no matter what but i know it myself that she deserves better . and im sure its all behind this . what else you want to take , just take . i know she is strong and brave . she had a very uncool parent, a very spoilt brother and a stupid fucking maid that always disturb her privacy . whoa , isnt that enough already ? no ? great , try her friends . she has no true friends , and whatsoever . plus , she lives in a prison . a prison that is shared . and the guard of the prison is fucking mad and crazy . nobody's perfect . cant you accept that , FATHER ? goshh , and she will never fit with people around her , no matter where she go . she lives in a city folks , not a village like u used to be . its like 90210 , not the 60's anymore . she is locked up by a person with no heart that never let her feels free . Allah , let her choose . let her be herself . if its hard for u , Lord , why don't you just take her with you ? let her be with you or she'll be hurting for a long time. give her peace and a lil freedom . fits her with her surroundings and stop humilate her . she always thought that family were supposed to be understanding , but to her , not anymore . the older she gets , more stressful she became . why is that ? can u communicate with her , God? and what she is waiting for now is her death . kill her slowly . put her through all the pain . she accept it .

i was kindda upset last nite so it kindda reminds me of the past . its a disaster .

syahmi , im so sorry i cant follow you to pavilion today . you wont understand my situation . its a relieve that you are not mad with me . im so so so sorry . goshh , it would be fun to hang with you . thanks for the call this morning . it makes me better . here it goes with mummy;

adik ; mummy , adik nak keluar esok ?
mummy ; nak pergi manaaa ? * start with the kening
adik ; pavilion ngn kawan2 adik . boleh ?
mummy ; ye lah , sape ?!
adik ; syahmi , darina semua tu lahhh . * anxious
mummy ; tak tahu lah ! tanya papa

i know mummy will let me go , but her husband really pissed me off . mummy sounded like leting me go .
i waited untill papa gets home from pasar . then at the living hall ;

adik ; pa , esok adik nak keluar , boleh ?
papa ; pegi mana !
adik ; tengok wayang je ngn kawan2 .
papa ; dgn sapa ?!
adik ; syahmi ngn kawan2 sekolah lain .
papa ; cita apa ?
adik ; 2012
papa ; dekat mana ?!
adik ; pavilion
papa ; huhhhhhhhhhhhh ! no !
adik ; alaaaa , boleh lah
papa ; no ! nak menggatal je kerja
adik ; gatal apanya ? ;(

what can i say ? i must back off . he's just a guy with no heart . i bet you , he never truly understand what kind of person i am . why ? he's the one that always locked me up . and what a stupid excuse saying that i ni mengatal ? whattahell , im a good friend and im a friend to lots of people , boys and girls . ohmygoddd , dont you just get it ? you really make me feel like i dont belong to anyone . there's this bird inside of me , papa . why are you so harsh ? i dont get it ? why do u always love to win ? i gave up everything to respect you . fine , im not good in education , im lazy and stff . but cant you just make me feel like a daughter to you ? look around you , fathers nowadays treat their daughter with lotsa love . but you ? with anger . im jealous when i look at others . whatever pa , you're my father . fine , you have right to do this to me .

serious shit , macam sial !


Pick 5 Friends
Friend 1: EKIN
Friend 2: DARINA
Friend 3: SYASYA
Friend 4: SYAHMI

Friend 5:

About Friend 1
What is their favorite color?: PINK
When did you meet them?: SCHOOL
Did you go to high school or middle school with them?: YES
Are they a big flirt?: YES
Do they dance?:YES

About Friend 2
Have you ever had a dream about them?:YES
Where do they live?: SRI PETALING
Have you ever heard them sing?: YES
What is your favorite thing about them?: GEDIK-NESS
Why is that your favorite?: SHE IS JUST BEING HER

About Friend 3:
What color are their eyes?: BLACK BUT WEARING A GREY CONTACTS
Do you love them?: YES
When was the last time you saw them?: LAST WEEK
What is their favorite color?: RED , maybe
Would you kiss them?: haha , YES

About Friend 4:
Are they even your friend?: YESSS
When was the last time you saw them in person?: FRIDAY LAST WEEK
Are you two best friends?: YES WE ARE
Do you borrow each others clothes?: NO
Do they have any pets?: NO

About Friend 5:
Would you ever marry them?: NO
Have you ever worked with them?: YES
Have they ever been to your place?: YES
Are they dating anyone right now?: NO
Are you related to them?: NO

Happy Birthday Syahmi

ohhh boy , Happy Birthday darling . wahh , you're a big guy now . haha , even i didnt saw you growing . haha , hey , i just want you to knw that you're the best guy-friend i ever had . and you always there when i need you . plus , you're the most sensitive guy ever . haha , and i will always laugh right after i sulk over you . damn , its so funny . i will be attending your party tonight okay? guess i just cant afford what u want . ahah . and weh , you'll be the smelliest person when the eggs is on you . haha . wait and see what im about to do . haha


i went to school today . since its the last day in school for this year . i was with Darina , Syahmi , Ikmal , Epar , Alip , Khai , Hadib , Via , Syan , Nurul , Ezza and blabla . for God's sake , i miss Ekin so much . i was just hanging out with them at the Dewan. we laugh like nobody's business , plus its the finals for other students . haha , serves u right . i was playing the UNO with them and i lost 2 times and i won plenty of times . GAHA ! pity u guys .

syahmi's birthday coming this Monday , we're planning for celebrating it at Vista Kommenwel . money is just everything kott . hmm , we maybe will be asking for jeme's help. AND they , all the Form 3 students , invited me for celebrating it in Pavilion this wednesday , RedBox . should i go ? i heard that Darina is going . pfftt , i'll think about it , feel like going .


im so lucky to be in this wonderful world . seriously , if a person thinks they wanna die , they're so stupid . they just run away from problems . every single problem , every single critic , every single death , every single present , there's always something behind it . human are always pushed by their family , yes , they will fed-up and feel like giving up . hell , just cry . every tears make us stronger and more mature . dont think what people thinks , say what your heart wanna do . sometimes , i do feel jealous of how parents treat their child , but im lucky enough to have parents . they gave me what i want . yeah , im the one who is not grateful . my family is different . mummy and papa always taught me to salam people . anybody . its a must ! when my family is having a family meeting , i have to attend . unless there's a reason . yeah , its lame isnt it to follow old folks ? yes , but what i felt is , im just following what my parents says . my parents have their own rules . to be honest , i hate it so so so much ! when they started to yelled , thats when im starting to get pissed . but im used to it . just sometimes , its off the limit . i just cant take it . me ? im not that sharing kindda person . seriously , if u asked my friends , i barely tell them anything . what i felt , who i liked , i always keep it to myself . im a secretive person but im a good listener and im a good adviser .


well , good morning satu malaysia . right now , its 8.15am . im not in school but tommorow i will . its the last week of school for me this year and im not attending . whatever . darina and ekin doesnt know yet about the last week of school , i hope they know it theirself . HAHA , there's too many drama . huhhh ,

on 16th november , its SYAHMI's birthday . OMG , what should i get him ? i have no idea . but bet me , im the only one who remembers his birthday , HAHAHA , whatever lah as long as i remember your birthday darling .

yesterday , i got a call from this stranger DIGI number . mcm apa call me , and keep calling my name . i was like "siapa ni?" she was like "HAHAHA" . what ?! guess who ? its JARA ! goshh , i miss her . i was drinking , and i suddenly cough . for no reason , maybe im too shocked that she called . miss her like damn .

last night , i was sleeping . all the sudden , at 4.15am , i heard a group of dogs were barking behind my house . i went close to my window and checked , and JESSIE was attacked by a group of dogs . i was so sad of that . i went down and open the back door and the dogs just ran away . then JESSIE came out . awww , she looked so hurt and she hardly breathe . i swear , its the most sad feeling i've ever felt . JESSIE cant even move . she just lay down and start to close her eyes . i *cried , yea , u can laugh , but the cat is innocent . gosh , now i realise , cats are so precious . i wish JOHNNY is around . i miss you , GEMOK .
i actually really really miss school . well , i know , its great to not learn anything for a couple of months but sometimes we just live with it ayte ? i miss sleeping in class during history class , seriously . i miss my friends too . HAHA , those crazy funny pals of mine . we're not in the same class but we're close . its great . ohh yeah , i remember , ekin & i love to trick the PK HEM , by saying i wanna vomit and while im talking to the teacher , ekin will start to disturb my acting with her funny faces and i will laugh . pfftt , it ruined everything . goshh , i miss u LOW . i hate u LALAI . serious shit , i want old times . i laugh out loud if i recall everything , HAHA .

SPM is coming , GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY ! jeme , jijoy , mal , fitri , arip , dan , izzat , noura , suha , and blabla .



1. Honestly, what color is your underwear?
- black

2. Honestly, whats on your mind right now?
- this guy up there , HENRY G

3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?
- google-ing

4. Honestly, what did you do today?
- sleep , drink , tv , online

5. Honestly, do you think you are attractive?
- no

6. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
- yes

7. Honestly, do you watch disney channel?
- when i was a kid

8. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
- i guess

9. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?
- jokes

10. Honestly, do you bite your nails?
- no

11. Honestly, what is your mood right now?
- dizzy

12.Honestly, have you had an eating disorder?
- no

13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute?
- yes

14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
- yes i do :)

16. Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
- yes

17. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now?
- someone

18. Honestly, are you loyal?
- yes i am

19. Honestly, are you in denial?
- yes

20. Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now?
- yes , HAHA

21. Honestly, who is your best friend?
- azrul asyikin & darina khaliesa

22. Honestly, have you ever consumed alcohol?
- yes

23. Honestly, do you like someone?
- yes

24. Honestly, does anyone like you?
- i dont care

25. Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?

26. Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly?
- i wish


i didnt go to school today . there's no transport for me to go so i just stay at home and sleep . hmm , i woke up at 12.25pm and straight away on the computer and on my myspace and blogger . yesterday , my hands were so itchy of changing everything on my blog . today , i fixed it already . i hope Ekin is not mad at me because i didnt attend school today . darina&her were planing on joining the KRS kem , i was like wtf? its so not them to go to all this KEM thingy . but trust me , they wont go . HAHHA !

yesterday was the lawatan for all the PMR students . we went to the BERYL'S and YAKULT . we did not really enjoy at the factories but in the bus we did . HAHAHA ! we were laughing non stop . we were singing like mad . like duhh we rule the bus . HAHA ! the teachers was like "whatlah dei" . ahahaha ! syahmi sat next to me , then i sat next to ekin . haha . during the way back , four of us were sleeping because we're so so tired , then something happen . nadia and the gang , we taking pictures of us sleeping . i was so pissed and started to yelled at them and they just shut up and sit . HAHA ! take that . and ekin was sulking so badly until this chinese lady in school was talking nonsense and i build up a joke "tau lah exam susah , takyah lah bising" . ekin laugh and smile and there it is , she's back in the mood .


omg , its horrible to go on a school trip . its horrible ! plus , we got in into an old jungle in Bukit Nanas . hell , its freakin exausting and boring . me , ekin & darina was like "terpaksa" to do it . ekin with the hating of animals and darina with the periodpain and me with the uncomfortable-ness and tired-ness . urghh , that place is cool but 100% not for me ! theres to many mosquitoes . eyakss !

we went there by a very cold air conditioned bus and the three of us sat behind with the boys . and we kept bothering fazreen with his semi-pro camera . HAHAH ! so funny to see him annoied with our annoied-ness . blablabla , we reached at the KL TOWER at 10.ooam , i guess . first thing we do is watch a clip about the building . its fucking boringgggg ! then we get to round the place by ourselves . the food there were expensivess . huh , and what we do is lepak and lepak and lepak with the boys . then we walked to the museum that was so far from our lcation . fuckk , im pissed ! aha , and darina was hurting but we're still ready to smile at the camera . HAHA !

got back to school and ate in the canteen . fuckk , i hate that fucking teacher , hanif , he's annoying and busybody about people's problem. go to hell . because of him , syahmi didnt get the chance to go with us on the school trip ! sial ! huhhhh ,

and guess what ? HO LALAI is the new PK HEM in my school ! omgeeeeeeeeeeeee . thats fucking shocking to me because im afraid that she might do something unprdictable to students . she's insane ! plus , she had problems with me . my hair ? she always wanted to cut my hair ! i always love you PN LOW ! huhhhhhh ,


he's one of the greatest . right now he really misses his friend back then . when he saw my friends (those subang jaya-ians) , at the AAR's concert , he started to see that they are like his friends . and he said to me , he wants to lepak with them if they can . he wants to fit in with those subang jaya-ians . he wants to strt lepak-ing there . he sees that they are freakin awesome . he just sees them , not yet talk and lepak , it would be awesome . so syahmi , i'll try to help you . and u can ask for mukhriz's help too . and syasya , if you read this , heyyyyy , help my friend doe ! HAHAHAHA


i dont know why , but i hate her so so so much . she's like that bitch who desprate for a guy and that guy is my ******* ! omg , she looks like a bitch , unfriendly and her voice is annoying . honestly ! sorry ******* , but its a wrong choice of yours . urghhh