PEREMPUAN TAK TAHU MALU

fuck you gambler! you're just a shameless maid/servant. who the hell do you think you are to talk about me to my parents? do you know, that because of your fucking mouth, im the one who is being scolded? sialan punya olang. and please, makan minum KELUARGA kau pun, makbapak aku bg, kau jgn nk sial sgt dgn aku. aku boleh je buat jahat dgn kau. dahlah menumpang, makan sume cukup, nak buat perangai sial! dahlah pengotor! urghhhhh, i hate you so much .

i know im rude, im sorry but im so pissed off rite now! please

ACCEPT ME

please, im begging you so badly, please accept me for who i am indeed not who you want me to be. it hurts me so much when u want me to be somebody that im not, that im not comfortable at. i know im bad, i know im stupid, i know im not a perfect daughter, i know im a troublesome kid, i know i dnt have good friends in our eyes, i know i've changed, i know im hopeless, i know im ugly, i know im the shame capital of the family, i know everything. i realise everything when i did something wrong. did u ever realise all that? to be really honest, i tried to change but the fact is that im me! so please. accept me, dont hurt me, dont embarrassed me, dont talk bad about me, dont judge me, dont disturb my life, dont do anything. please, all u did to me, ever in my life, did i ever do it to you? deep inside my heart i know, that you are worse than me, just beacuse you're the favourite one, dont just simply step on my head. remember one thing, dont judge my friends, pleasee. did i ever in life said anything about your friends to people? NOO! and who i am in school, who the hell cares? still, i got my guidance. me being a gangster or anything, does that disturbs your life? oh c'mon man, grow up, stop stalking about me from people. one thing i ever wanted in my life, in this wide world is a life that is better than now. i want to be anything that can change my world around. what you are now is not what i wanna be. i know im better. you know sometimes, when i suddenly/accidently yelled at you,i feel so bad untill i wanna cry? but i never cry in front of you. i never ever wanna show to you that i hurt because i dont ever wanna hurt your feelings. but towards the end, im the one that hurt a lot. right now, at this moment, i really want to know, do you know who i am exactly? do you know what kind of person i am? do you know that? or do you ever care? except for one thing, thanks a lot for remembering what colour i like, what food i love to eat. thank you very very much. i really really appreciate that. from now on, im not gonna tell you guys my results or anything that is to be proud of cause it wont make you happy. rite? so let me try to see wheteher it works. let the whole crap and stupid rumors out of your mouth, lets see whether you are better or worse. but im never gonna change who i am now, i dont care and i WONT care what u wanna say about me, go on and dare me! it wont freak me out. let me enjoy being what i am now, dont turn it down. i never stop your way if you wanna enjoy, so be fair, dont stop me. goshh, why cant this tears stop? i need to be strong.

sincerely,
Renee.

20th

as im so tired and feel like vomiting but yeah, i survived. HAHA. early in the morning i woke up and went to Sunway to search for some musical box dgn tante. Inara was with us too. then we went to the supermarket and stff. AHA, the best part is, i asked Inara , "do you want this?" she answered "yea', and its actually a Carlsberg tin. HAHAHA, so funny. andand at 5smthng, i gerak Taipan andand makan dkt McD, then Intan ada, then Syamil dtg. then Syamil and I main pool jap. damn, i sucked in it, but im still learing. chiilax. ahah, then shisha dkt Garden too. tongtong dgn Intan, as Syasya was learning and enjoying, HAHA. I had the most dizzy moment ever. shit, it hurts. my mind was blank until Ekin called and talked to me. she's a lifesaver. thanks. and guess what? Man Utd lost to Everton which sucks the most, cant deny that Everton was good. i still love Man Utd no matter what. uhhhmmm, thats all. malas nak typre. buhbyee.

i miss my Bratz a lottttttt <3

SPIRITUAL DAY

OMG, I'm just so into studying today. i didn't know who the hell got into me. like I've done all my hw except for my acc. its hard. I've started my home tuition with Jason and im okay with it even though its just one hour. last night, i flashback all i've done and how i've grown up. HAHA, its funny but I've changed from bad to good and good to bad too. i know that money now is problem for me to get into tuition but I'll survive. i know i can do it without help, its just spirit that has to be high. i have to keep up the good results. gtg. papa's home.

LIFT ME UP

So the pain begins
As the music fades
And I'm left here with
With more than I can take

If you lift me up
Just get me through this night
I know I'll rest tomorrow
And I'll be strong enough to try

When the sky clears
And all is said and done
I will realize
That we all need someone

If you lift me up
Just get me through this night
I know I'll rest tomorrow
And I'll be strong enough to try

So when you see me crashing
And there's nowhere left to fall
Will you lift me even higher
To rise above this all

If you lift me up
Said if you lift me up
Said if you lift me up
Will it be higher

When you see me crashing
And there's nowhere left to fall
Will you lift me even higher
To rise above this all

If you lift me up
Said if you lift me up
If you lift me up
Just get me through this night

MY SOUL,MY HEART,MY HEAVEN,MY HELL,MY WORLD

Lost in action

Valentine's Day movie was the bomb! its just the sweetest movie ever. i bet you'll love it. i went to watch it with T****and the fat sleepy head, ahaha, you knw who im talking about rite? yeah, blablabla. at nite, went out for some dinner with the whole family cause Ami Chik had this lung cancer. my advise is; stop smoking! pleaseee... the cost of the operation is way too expensive so earn it. yadada, Danny and Hakim slept at my house. OMG! jgn jealous yeah. HAHA. tak belah je! we jokes like hell. especially Danny's angry sound like "GGGGRRRRR", haha, i cant describe it here cause its damn hell of the funny, when people touches him, HAHAHA. :D ekin is so stressed out i guess cause she called and she said that her journey sucks. sorry to hear that dear. btw, im so jealous that Hakim went to this chinese Datuk and receive an ang-pau of RM500! damnnn u. i should have just followed u. he bought a new phone and a bag. serious shit, i envy youuuu. ANDANDAND, i want my Subang so badly! i guess thats it so buhhbyeeee. tc honehh

Looking back in anger

Like any other kind of love, friendship can be lost within our lives due to neglect or anger or, sometimes, simply circumstances. However it is lost, we often lose a part of ourselves that can never quite be recovered.

HERE IT GOES

it was Thursday and i have PJ class. as i wanted to come down to the changing room and accompanied Nadia to changed her clothes, I saw Fadsilah and i said to her "you wanted to see me teacher?" then then, she asked me to walked with her and she asked me why i 'boo' her daughter time cross coountry? i answered "she made up stories about me at a teacher" blablabla... thank god she apologized to me. and i think what i do was the right thing. and she also said she wont disturb a sleeping dog. ahah, that totally refers to me. however, i still hate her. whatever major loser!



i really really really want to see this freakin movie. it looks good and it sounded nice :)

some of em' i can copy,
The film centers on loosely related characters who all experience Valentine’s Day in their own way. All but one of the stories take place in Los Angeles, and the remaining one takes place on a flight to L.A.
On an airplane to Los Angeles, Kate Hazeltine (Julia Roberts), a captain in the U.S. Army on a one-day leave, meets gay man Holden (Bradley Cooper) who has recently become single again. In Los Angeles, florist Reed Bennett (Ashton Kutcher) eagerly proposes to his girlfriend Morley (Jessica Alba) who accepts his offer, much to the surprise of Reed’s colleague Alphonso (George Lopez) and best friend Julia (Jennifer Garner). Julia, a primary school teacher, has recently fallen in love with Dr. Harrison Copeland (Patrick Dempsey) who might just be hiding his true agenda. Meanwhile one of Julia’s students, Edison (Bryce Robinson), is trying to send flowers to his Valentine, while his babysitter, Grace (Emma Roberts), is planning her first sexual encounter with boyfriend Alex (Carter Jenkins). Meanwhile Edison’s grandparents, Edgar (Hector Elizondo) and Estelle (Shirley MacLaine), are facing the troubles of a long marriage while Grace’s friends Willy (Taylor Lautner) and Felicia (Taylor Swift) are experiencing the freshness of new love. Sean Jackson (Eric Dane), a closeted professional football player, is contemplating the end of his career together with his publicist Kara (Jessica Biel) and his agent Paula (Queen Latifah). Kara, a close friend of Julia’s, is organizing her annual ‘We Hate Valentine’s Day’ Party but is starting to become interested in sports reporter Kelvin Moore (Jamie Foxx) who has been sent out by his producer Susan (Kathy Bates) to cover Valentine’s Day because of a lack of sports news. Paula has recently hired a new receptionist called Liz (Anne Hathaway) who has recently started dating mailroom clerk Jason (Topher Grace). However, Liz is keeping a kinky little secret from Jason.

I GOTTA FEELING

what the hell is wrong with me do? there's something that disturbs me badly, very bad. in school, im still the same o same o but inside, i dont think anybody notices. im still crazy doing my stupid funny jokes to entertain people but who entertained me? nobody do! and and my bestfriend, where are you do? i havent seen you at all. what is wrong? are u keeping secrets from me? please dnt be secretive wei. im begging you.

in school today, i got my English paper's result. and i got an A , a freakin A. thanks teacher eventhough i hate you. HAHA. i stayed back today but i skipped cocuriculum and went to Maple and smoke and lepak with Jeme,Yot,Bal and Ekin. heee. laugh with jokes. then i went back to school and took my bag. before that, i went to see my green house cheerleading, i hope they can win again this year. GO HELANG AH AH.

There's gonna be more to life

i know you're the strongest person so please get through all this strongly. please dont leave me , Darina. iloveyou.

BBQ

i went to schhol on a Saturday which is so boring , i had exams for English and Sejarah. during sej's paper, its the HER time, she just cant stop talking about me huh? i dont give a damn , trust me. time flies and i cant wait it to end. blabla, got home and im locked outside for w hile then abang came down and opened the door for me. an hour later, got a call from Bal asking me whether i can go to the free cc with him , then i said yes, we walked and played DeadRace. ahaha. for the very first time. and and BUBU followed us all the time. i was like"good dog" ahah. 6pm i went to Subang Jaya for a bbq. damnn , its gooooddd. rindurindu ramairamai mcm tu. heee :) i actually wanted to Syafinaz but she's in Taipan , so tape ah. next time ah. i ate lotsa chicken and squidd. i may got stomach ache but thank god not. and and i hope the present from us is enough. HAHA. went home around 11 and online until 12.30 and got a call from him. well , we talked. and got some distraction from a busybody person. batak kan? :P thats all , byeeee

ohhh yeah, Darina and Ekin , no comment :)

CROSS COUNTRY

hellooo , today was a very very very tiring day for me. but im still up. my school's cross country program was held in Bukit Jalil Park and it was 3km. goshh , i was 'pancit' almost all the time. ekin left me alone cause im so lembab:( but its fine, i manage to finish it than back out. congrats to me though. Darina were absent, damnn. My rumah sukan , Green House won second place because Red house cheated, sial. huh , but no worries , we'll win again! trust me, we will. Krol, Joe and Amir cant stop saying "ohh yeahh", HAHA , crazy boys. and and im so happy to see Fitri and Along jstnw. i heard that Along is going to Paramore's concert in Singapore, how lucky that guy is. im jealoussss ;( Fitri looks handsome do! *HAHAHA. Syahmi and Yot were there too, ekin&i hung out in Maple for a while until 12.30pm , i went home with the bus and Ekin went home and maybe out with her boyfriend, HAHA , and his boyfriend's lil brotha. HAHA. chillax. im so mad at this stupid GELAP girl , who's a teacher's daugter, heh , cmon , im not scared of you, and pleasee , dont look at me that way when i wore shades. Jealous! HUHHHH, such a troublesome kid. be mature girl! and and Ayer tu, my friend is not cheap man! wake up. lastly, i just wanted to say that , i need to top up my phne, A.S.A.P, im so bored without any credit

COMPLIMENT

as usual, i went to school today. early in the morning i arrived first before my friends arrived. Darina came today, i missed her. HAHA, ekin&i were okay today. we went for Pj class and we played volleyball. she was like so annoyed with me cause i kept losing the ball but she lost the ball more than i am. then then, after recess was sejarah class, so boring as usual ! EA class was okay too, i slept. and PA, ekin&i went to see Pn Ida and guess what? we told her about this stupid chinese girl, urghh, i felt like slaping her face. and and and the best part, she said that MANY teachers talk good about me. and im so much BETTER than last year. HAHAHAHA , kembang do bontot i dgr. for heaven's sake, i hate that lil junior of mine that made stories about me to teachers, heh, if you're jealous of me, just say so okay kiddo? dahlah GELAPPP! hahaha, beware, im watching you. thats it for today in school i guess. *im lazy to type everything though

AIDIL , im so mad at you when u slept and forgot about your promise at me.

WET WET WET

gosh, its a Wednesday and i usually stayback until 4 or 4.30 but yesterday, i stayed back untill6.30pm and got home at 7something. i was accompanied by v and we accompanied ekin. she's just so lucky, she went back first than us. three of us went to maple and hung out for a while. i met Mal , Jeme , and Eary. i miss em! ahaha, then then, it was raining heavily like mad! v and i had no choice but to run back to school while the heavy rain, it felt like im in a shower or something, but thank god i didnt get sick. my books were all wet and ohmygod, u got me rite? damn, especially my acc's books. sorry,teacher for the ugly books. HAHA! when i got back, papa were outside of the house, its just scary to see the face, but whatever, i just got inside the house and do nothing. it was cold, i cant lie! but ekin, You Owe Me Big!

HATE YOU TOO TEACHER

as usual, i went to school with all the laziness. i arrived school so early this morning, i was like hell, i hate to arrive early. macam 'skema' gila. attend the stupid assembly. when im there,i saw the most unwanted face, Nadia's face. but her eyebacks, *ouchh! , u got to get some make up on. it is so ugly, boyfriend pindah, ohh i see. then, this German guy in my school, the new HOT student. i hate when there's another famous kid in the school, that is more famous than me. HAHA, whatever it is, he got blonde hair. AUWWWW. hahaha, during English, haiyahhh. she's ignoring me like im a stupid kid. heh, c'mon lah teacher, i got an A for the subject you're teaching. people changed. u can chopped me as a bad kid rite, so am i, you're the world's stupidest and annoying-est teacher i've known in my entire life! and please lah , i have feelings. still, I'm strong to get through this, but I'm warning you, don't make me hurt you, you dnt even know what kind of person i am. i could be a snake that u wont even chase. be a teacher inside, be a hater outside, i wont care but both side, please , you gotta be kidding me. HATE YOU BITCHY TEACHER.

when school ends, ekin and i got the lots of tits water, HAHAHAHAHA, jgn jealous