please, im begging you so badly, please accept me for who i am indeed not who you want me to be. it hurts me so much when u want me to be somebody that im not, that im not comfortable at. i know im bad, i know im stupid, i know im not a perfect daughter, i know im a troublesome kid, i know i dnt have good friends in our eyes, i know i've changed, i know im hopeless, i know im ugly, i know im the shame capital of the family, i know everything. i realise everything when i did something wrong. did u ever realise all that? to be really honest, i tried to change but the fact is that im me! so please. accept me, dont hurt me, dont embarrassed me, dont talk bad about me, dont judge me, dont disturb my life, dont do anything. please, all u did to me, ever in my life, did i ever do it to you? deep inside my heart i know, that you are worse than me, just beacuse you're the favourite one, dont just simply step on my head. remember one thing, dont judge my friends, pleasee. did i ever in life said anything about your friends to people? NOO! and who i am in school, who the hell cares? still, i got my guidance. me being a gangster or anything, does that disturbs your life? oh c'mon man, grow up, stop stalking about me from people. one thing i ever wanted in my life, in this wide world is a life that is better than now. i want to be anything that can change my world around. what you are now is not what i wanna be. i know im better. you know sometimes, when i suddenly/accidently yelled at you,i feel so bad untill i wanna cry? but i never cry in front of you. i never ever wanna show to you that i hurt because i dont ever wanna hurt your feelings. but towards the end, im the one that hurt a lot. right now, at this moment, i really want to know, do you know who i am exactly? do you know what kind of person i am? do you know that? or do you ever care? except for one thing, thanks a lot for remembering what colour i like, what food i love to eat. thank you very very much. i really really appreciate that. from now on, im not gonna tell you guys my results or anything that is to be proud of cause it wont make you happy. rite? so let me try to see wheteher it works. let the whole crap and stupid rumors out of your mouth, lets see whether you are better or worse. but im never gonna change who i am now, i dont care and i WONT care what u wanna say about me, go on and dare me! it wont freak me out. let me enjoy being what i am now, dont turn it down. i never stop your way if you wanna enjoy, so be fair, dont stop me. goshh, why cant this tears stop? i need to be strong.
sincerely,
Renee.
